Parent Hospitalization 101

Mom was like seriously ill a week before. Like we had to admit her to a nearby nursing home and all. I don't think any of my parents was this seriously ill before. The years of referee duty between me and my brother has finally started taking toll on them, especially mom. She was feeling breathless and our family doc suggested we take her to this another doctor. Docotor saab promptly ordered an ECG. Dad, who has seen mom through almost all of her health issue, called me at once. Some of the terms the doctor threw at him (including the reason why he was ordering an ECG) went like a bouncer delivery. I reached the nursing home, talked to the doctor, called up couple of my friends who are fresh out of medical college (after what seemed to be years and years) and wrapped my head around the fact that finally, after all these years, "maari maa buddhi thai gayi". (Tip: don't go all "I know what you are talking about" around the doctor. Pretend you are a local paanwaala and ask the doc to explain all things in as simple terms as possible. Also call your MBBS friends. They might not know squat, but it's good to make them feel that their years of studies are paying off).

Mom was hooked up to all these heart rate monitors. Some urgent tests were performed, an overall blood work was ordered. Dad pushed a thick wad of cash in my hand and went home. It was probably the first time he gave me so much money in hand. The night proceeded as mom settled as if the hospital was her Maikaa, ordering nurses for water and stuff. Meanwhile, dad was under an impression that the hospital will provide for food. After a long wait for him to get a dabba from home, I fixed up mom with some food from a local poli bhaji stall and went home. it was not a good idea. Couldn't sleep. Kept thinking about mom. Went back to the nursing home. Kept peeking through the ICCU window, checking on her. (Tip: The worst thing about the heart rate monitors is the way they fluctuate like a roller coaster when the person hooked up to them moves.) scared the shit out of me for the first few times. Finally went to sleep at 3 o clock in the night.

Next two days went uneventful. Apparently mom just needed a nice long sleep. she looked all good the next day. Still, as the nursing homes wanted to make her feel at home, the doctor ordered a 2D Echo and kept her there for one more day. She got discharged the next day after 2D echo test came normal. She is still taking rest and ordering us around, playing the "hospitalization" card.

Miscellaneous tips:

1. If not admitted in a hospital connected to the cashless facility of your medi-claim, call up the guys and intimidate them about the hospitalization within 24 hours
2. Keep all the documents (reports, prescriptions, bills etc) organized
3. While taking discharge, make sure you get the test requests (its sort of prescription but for tests) for all the tests done from the doctor
4. Try and keep them entertained, also be extra courteous to the hospital staff if your patient is ordering them around  like my mom
5. Do not hamper your eating schedule, the acidity that follows sucks.
6. Do not think of yourself as some lord after you pull off all this hospitalization stunt. Your dad will still think of you as a kid. A responsible kid if you are lucky.
7. Try and get someone else to do the medi-claim procedure that follows the hospitalization. Unless you are as composed as bhagvaan Buddha.